So I started this entry who knows how many times, and did a lot of erasing. This isn't even about him anymore. It goes deeper than that.
He's not the reason I think I could cry right now.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Maybe it's not really cynicism...
I almost threw out this rant as a comment on somebody's facebook status, but then I considered that the song quoted in said status was probably a message sent directly from the quoter to his girl, and I didn't want to ruin their cutesy bliss.
Here, however, I shan't hold back. This shall be my final rant concerning a certain topic on which certain readers will know I love to rant.
If you are unfamiliar with the song "Just the Way You Are" by Bruno Mars, I will include a link to the lyrics at the bottom. Or maybe the Youtube video. No, not the video. I won't do that to you. But if you listen to pop/hit radio EVER, I'm sure you have heard it.
I am not against "cute" so very much. Cute is good. I am a girl and I like cute things. I enjoy a good chick flick every now and then...but with a limit. "The Notebook," for example? I could have lived a good, full life without that one or any other Nicholas Sparks book/movie ever written/made, with the exception of "A Walk to Remember," for which I need make no argument because you already know that I'm right, don't you?
But back to Bruno Mars.
This cute little song of his has been placed on a pedestle almost as a treatise on the way a boy should feel about, treat, and talk to his girl (notice that I did not say "man" or "woman"). This saddens and worries me. Remember those lyrics now, or read them, if you need to. All those things about the girl that take Mr. Mars' breath away or whatever? All physical, even the part about her laugh, in a way, because it is a sensory experience.
In other words, there is no substance within this song concerning the feelings this boy holds for that girl as a person with a brain/heart/soul/spirit. People classify this as a love song, but there is nothing about love in it. He never so much as hints at the word. It is a song about infatuation and, you know, B. Mars may even be aware of that. It's possible he would tell you straight-forward that the song is not about love. Honestly, however, that matters little. People turn it into a love song. A boy might sing it to a girl, and the girl will think that the boy is in love with her, whether or not he is and whether or not she is.
Of course, the boy can sing absolutely any song he wants and he doesn't have to mean it. But that's an entirely different topic.
Now, if a boy sings or plays this song to a girl and they both know where their relationship stands and she can simply enjoy the compliment (be the context either a little fling or a deep, loving relationship), then sing away.
But can I make a suggestion, gentlemen? Skip the cliche's (have I mentioned the song screams "cliche" to me as well?). Nine times out of ten, someone else's song cannot actually say it better than you can. If you are that one, okay then, you may need to work on that. Or find a girl who appreciates the way you say things badly, because such girls DO exist, and yours will probably turn out to be the girl of your dreams. Say it however you want. In song, poetry, art, film, letter, or any of those love languages (remember those?) - whatever you do well. Just say it to her face. Stumble your way through it, if you have to. Most girls, in fact, find this irresistibly adorable.
You can try telling me that you wouldn't change anything about my face, but honey, age happens. That face is GONNA change, and what then? Yes, a girl wants to hear that she's pretty. Very few girls or women will ever hear it enough in their lifetime. She needs it. Yes, she wants to make somebody melt with her smile, but she also wants to make somebody laugh with her wit or her antics or her clumsiness. She wants to be trusted, included, believed in. She wants her heart and her mind valued and sought after, so much more than her body.
In addition to all this, I personally want to be challeneged, in every way, but especially in my faith. I want to be pushed. I want to be prayed for. I want to be pointed right back to Christ. I want to feel as though I serve God better when I have him by my side than I do alone or with anyone else. I want to be loved "as Christ loved the Church." As a young Christian woman, I had to throw these things in, because they are the most important things of all.
Ridiculous standards, right? For this day and age? For a single twenty-something female surrounded by people dating or getting married?
Take a look at divorce rates and tell me where today's standards of love have brought us. I say it is my right to be picky. I also say it is my responsibility to become the kind of woman that the man I pick in my pickiness might pick right back.
Now to ponder whether I have been picky enough lately.
As promised, a link to the lyrics: "Just the Way You Are" - Bruno Mars
Here, however, I shan't hold back. This shall be my final rant concerning a certain topic on which certain readers will know I love to rant.
If you are unfamiliar with the song "Just the Way You Are" by Bruno Mars, I will include a link to the lyrics at the bottom. Or maybe the Youtube video. No, not the video. I won't do that to you. But if you listen to pop/hit radio EVER, I'm sure you have heard it.
I am not against "cute" so very much. Cute is good. I am a girl and I like cute things. I enjoy a good chick flick every now and then...but with a limit. "The Notebook," for example? I could have lived a good, full life without that one or any other Nicholas Sparks book/movie ever written/made, with the exception of "A Walk to Remember," for which I need make no argument because you already know that I'm right, don't you?
But back to Bruno Mars.
This cute little song of his has been placed on a pedestle almost as a treatise on the way a boy should feel about, treat, and talk to his girl (notice that I did not say "man" or "woman"). This saddens and worries me. Remember those lyrics now, or read them, if you need to. All those things about the girl that take Mr. Mars' breath away or whatever? All physical, even the part about her laugh, in a way, because it is a sensory experience.
In other words, there is no substance within this song concerning the feelings this boy holds for that girl as a person with a brain/heart/soul/spirit. People classify this as a love song, but there is nothing about love in it. He never so much as hints at the word. It is a song about infatuation and, you know, B. Mars may even be aware of that. It's possible he would tell you straight-forward that the song is not about love. Honestly, however, that matters little. People turn it into a love song. A boy might sing it to a girl, and the girl will think that the boy is in love with her, whether or not he is and whether or not she is.
Of course, the boy can sing absolutely any song he wants and he doesn't have to mean it. But that's an entirely different topic.
Now, if a boy sings or plays this song to a girl and they both know where their relationship stands and she can simply enjoy the compliment (be the context either a little fling or a deep, loving relationship), then sing away.
But can I make a suggestion, gentlemen? Skip the cliche's (have I mentioned the song screams "cliche" to me as well?). Nine times out of ten, someone else's song cannot actually say it better than you can. If you are that one, okay then, you may need to work on that. Or find a girl who appreciates the way you say things badly, because such girls DO exist, and yours will probably turn out to be the girl of your dreams. Say it however you want. In song, poetry, art, film, letter, or any of those love languages (remember those?) - whatever you do well. Just say it to her face. Stumble your way through it, if you have to. Most girls, in fact, find this irresistibly adorable.
You can try telling me that you wouldn't change anything about my face, but honey, age happens. That face is GONNA change, and what then? Yes, a girl wants to hear that she's pretty. Very few girls or women will ever hear it enough in their lifetime. She needs it. Yes, she wants to make somebody melt with her smile, but she also wants to make somebody laugh with her wit or her antics or her clumsiness. She wants to be trusted, included, believed in. She wants her heart and her mind valued and sought after, so much more than her body.
In addition to all this, I personally want to be challeneged, in every way, but especially in my faith. I want to be pushed. I want to be prayed for. I want to be pointed right back to Christ. I want to feel as though I serve God better when I have him by my side than I do alone or with anyone else. I want to be loved "as Christ loved the Church." As a young Christian woman, I had to throw these things in, because they are the most important things of all.
Ridiculous standards, right? For this day and age? For a single twenty-something female surrounded by people dating or getting married?
Take a look at divorce rates and tell me where today's standards of love have brought us. I say it is my right to be picky. I also say it is my responsibility to become the kind of woman that the man I pick in my pickiness might pick right back.
Now to ponder whether I have been picky enough lately.
As promised, a link to the lyrics: "Just the Way You Are" - Bruno Mars
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Good things to know
It's things like having your vehicle ransacked that really show you who the healthy people in your life are.
You remember the discussion concerning "you can" and "you will" versus "you should" and "you need to"? I'm talking about the encouragers versus the nags. Not that the nags are totally devoid of valid arguments, but will not humanity ever learn that nagging is rarely effective and certainly never healthy?
Unfortunately, I cannot ever be rid of them, but perhaps they are present in my life so that I might not take for granted the encouragers. Truly, there are certain people in my life without whom I am pretty sure I would be a mere shell of a human being, and anything else said people might do to frustrate me is instantly forgiven when they ensure me of all the things I am capable of accomplishing.
There were those who spoke to me almost as though it served me right when Indy was pillaged. Yes, perhaps later I would have agreed that some valuable and much-needed lessons were learned, but to react not an hour afterward as though to suspect me of lying, and then proceed to speak to me like I deserve it?
But that's not what I'm here to write about.
There were others, you see. There were people who stood waiting for me in their doorway as I pulled up, holding a trash bag, ready to cover my broken window. There were people who urged me not to hold back as I ranted and raved, and then showed me how I was going to take this slam, turn it around, and use it to fully appreciate all the good things that have come my way recently. There were people who hugged me. People who got angrier than I did. People who asked, before anything else, if I was okay.
Those are some damn good people. Thank you, Jesus, for those people.
You remember the discussion concerning "you can" and "you will" versus "you should" and "you need to"? I'm talking about the encouragers versus the nags. Not that the nags are totally devoid of valid arguments, but will not humanity ever learn that nagging is rarely effective and certainly never healthy?
Unfortunately, I cannot ever be rid of them, but perhaps they are present in my life so that I might not take for granted the encouragers. Truly, there are certain people in my life without whom I am pretty sure I would be a mere shell of a human being, and anything else said people might do to frustrate me is instantly forgiven when they ensure me of all the things I am capable of accomplishing.
There were those who spoke to me almost as though it served me right when Indy was pillaged. Yes, perhaps later I would have agreed that some valuable and much-needed lessons were learned, but to react not an hour afterward as though to suspect me of lying, and then proceed to speak to me like I deserve it?
But that's not what I'm here to write about.
There were others, you see. There were people who stood waiting for me in their doorway as I pulled up, holding a trash bag, ready to cover my broken window. There were people who urged me not to hold back as I ranted and raved, and then showed me how I was going to take this slam, turn it around, and use it to fully appreciate all the good things that have come my way recently. There were people who hugged me. People who got angrier than I did. People who asked, before anything else, if I was okay.
Those are some damn good people. Thank you, Jesus, for those people.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
On the other hand...
You know those times where you think of the things you should have said about an hour after you should have said them (or a day...or five minutes...either way it's too late)?
It's the story of my life, and I don't just mean the witty things. I'm talking about the things that needed to be said. The ways I really should have reacted. Yeah, we agreed that "the joke" needed to die, but it was a window into okay-really-where-is-this-going? and I managed to not even think of saying anything else outside of "yeah...that joke probably needs to die."
There's no telling how many conversations in my life have gone like this:
"And I mean, really, (insert thought here)."
"Well, did you tell him/her so?"
"No, I didn't think of it until (later, this morning, just now, etc.)."
I know I'm not alone, but man.
On an entirely unrelated note, what the hell is up with this twitter thing on the left about Oprah??? I didn't write that. Oprah annoys me. Who the f*** is hacking my twitter??
EDIT: Nobody hacked my twitter. The widget only displayed tweets from "FearlessBeauty," but I recently changed my username to "ericarhyn" and twitter didn't keep up. Apparently whoever decided to become FearlessBeauty after me is super inspired by Oprah.
It's the story of my life, and I don't just mean the witty things. I'm talking about the things that needed to be said. The ways I really should have reacted. Yeah, we agreed that "the joke" needed to die, but it was a window into okay-really-where-is-this-going? and I managed to not even think of saying anything else outside of "yeah...that joke probably needs to die."
There's no telling how many conversations in my life have gone like this:
"And I mean, really, (insert thought here)."
"Well, did you tell him/her so?"
"No, I didn't think of it until (later, this morning, just now, etc.)."
I know I'm not alone, but man.
On an entirely unrelated note, what the hell is up with this twitter thing on the left about Oprah??? I didn't write that. Oprah annoys me. Who the f*** is hacking my twitter??
EDIT: Nobody hacked my twitter. The widget only displayed tweets from "FearlessBeauty," but I recently changed my username to "ericarhyn" and twitter didn't keep up. Apparently whoever decided to become FearlessBeauty after me is super inspired by Oprah.
Top Hats and Bib Overalls
Okay, so jokes about getting married someday are not cool. Gentlemen - if there are any out there reading this - take note. You just don't kid around with a female friend when it comes to that topic. It will mess with her head. And if it doesn't mess with her head, it will eventually begin to mess with yours. I've seen that happen, too.
Now, I do not necessarily mean that she will actually expect you to marry her. This is not what I'm saying. What I am saying is that one of you will end up seriously bothered wondering just how the other feels. Even if you have already been given an idea, that won't cut it. You will need to know.
Now, I do not necessarily mean that she will actually expect you to marry her. This is not what I'm saying. What I am saying is that one of you will end up seriously bothered wondering just how the other feels. Even if you have already been given an idea, that won't cut it. You will need to know.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Onward!
Tomorrow I start eating healthier again. I'm excited. I'm ready for energy again, for deliciousness at my own hands rather than those of the fast food manufacturers (I say "manufacturers" because, really, who actually cooks that stuff?), and for the weird looks my aunt and uncle give me when I pull out the miso paste or the sun-dried tomatoes (or, shoot, vegetables in general).
I went grocery shopping this evening, you see. My heart is happy.
Also, I find myself newly determined to start running again. With that said, it's just after 11:00 now. If I'm going to get up early enough in the morning, I should probably go to bed.
Yeah, I'm going to bed before midnight. Pretty regularly. I don't even have to be anywhere until 11 the next morning.
I went grocery shopping this evening, you see. My heart is happy.
Also, I find myself newly determined to start running again. With that said, it's just after 11:00 now. If I'm going to get up early enough in the morning, I should probably go to bed.
Yeah, I'm going to bed before midnight. Pretty regularly. I don't even have to be anywhere until 11 the next morning.
Monday, October 18, 2010
My To-Do Food List
I have decided that it is time to expand my cooking repertoire, particularly beyond the recipe realm. Recipes be damned (with the exception of baking). So I have decided to make a list of dishes to master. This list shall include many of those typical dishes that all the moms/grandmas/aunts/church ladies in our lives seem to know by instinct, but also stuff like Pad Thai, Okonomiyaki, Gyros, Tiramisu, and the perfect Taco. Okay, so I might have to keep some recipes around.
On my list so far, besides those that I just mentioned:
Tikka Masala (by suggestion of Amy Reyes)
Korma (also Miss Reyes' doing)
Lassi
Curry (yes, it's a broad term, and I don't care)
Christmas Pudding
Pumpkin Pie
Apple (any fruit, really) Pie
Lasagna
Chili from scratch (I must break free from the packaged seasoning mix!)
a better Burger
homemade Milkshake
homemade Salsa (traditional, corn, black bean, mango, etc.)
Chicken and Dumplings
homemade Salad Dressings
Spanakopita
Baklava
Gumbo from scratch
Jambalaya from scratch
perfect Mashed Potatoes
Chicken Parmesan
homemade Pesto
Tempura (worked on this before, still trying to get the batter to my liking)
various Stir Fry Sauces
various Pasta Sauces
Roast Chicken
Biscuits from scratch
Tortillas
Bread
Fudge
Potato Soup
Clam Chowder
Hot Cider
perfect Sweet Tea
perfect Latte
Chinese Dumplings (aka Potstickers)
Chicken Enchiladas
homemade Pizza
Calzones
various homemade Pickles
Yeah, several items on this list are less than practical. I know that, and I don't really care. =D
I'm sure I shall think of more later. Any suggestions?
On my list so far, besides those that I just mentioned:
Tikka Masala (by suggestion of Amy Reyes)
Korma (also Miss Reyes' doing)
Lassi
Curry (yes, it's a broad term, and I don't care)
Christmas Pudding
Pumpkin Pie
Apple (any fruit, really) Pie
Lasagna
Chili from scratch (I must break free from the packaged seasoning mix!)
a better Burger
homemade Milkshake
homemade Salsa (traditional, corn, black bean, mango, etc.)
Chicken and Dumplings
homemade Salad Dressings
Spanakopita
Baklava
Gumbo from scratch
Jambalaya from scratch
perfect Mashed Potatoes
Chicken Parmesan
homemade Pesto
Tempura (worked on this before, still trying to get the batter to my liking)
various Stir Fry Sauces
various Pasta Sauces
Roast Chicken
Biscuits from scratch
Tortillas
Bread
Fudge
Potato Soup
Clam Chowder
Hot Cider
perfect Sweet Tea
perfect Latte
Chinese Dumplings (aka Potstickers)
Chicken Enchiladas
homemade Pizza
Calzones
various homemade Pickles
Yeah, several items on this list are less than practical. I know that, and I don't really care. =D
I'm sure I shall think of more later. Any suggestions?
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Realistically Speaking,
- Erica Grubaugh
- My name is Erica and I think too much...or maybe not enough. Or maybe I think too much but don't remember what I've thought so I could blog about it later. I really need to start carrying a notebook with me. Who knows what kind of money I could make with the craziness that happens in my head?