Sunday, October 10, 2010

Lie of the Day: No news is good news.

Within the next 24 hours (and I'm being generous here) I hope to know something to tell you all concerning the guy I mentioned a while back. I might be gushing (deal with it), I might be hurting (comfort me!), or I might still be completely uncertain about what will happen, but anything is better than the helpless wait for the phone call whilst trying not to be sick to my stomach (fml).

For the past...well...for a while now, I've been trying to scrounge up the balls to let this guy know that, at this point, all he has to do if he wants to be more than friends is ask. To make a long story short, I suddenly found the opportunity slipping away, drove two hours to see him so I could say it, failed, asked him to call me so I could say it, failed again, and then finally texted him since the words were clearly not ever going to come out of my mouth.

That was at about 1:15am on Friday night/Saturday morning. It is now roughly 6pm on Sunday. I still haven't heard anything.

Nerve-wracking, right? Right? Did I mention I haven't taken the initiative and put myself out there like this since my sophomore year of high school?

My worst fear, actually, is that this whole friendship will fall to shit, but I'd like to think that we're both better than that. I'd like to think that, should he not ultimately be into the idea (a.k.a. if he picks the other girl), we can still be understanding, we can respect each others' positions, and we can still be there for each other.

Then again, if he should do what I mentioned right there inside the parentheses, my monopoly is gone. As it has been recently, he talks to me on the phone more than he even sees anyone else, with maybe the exception of his uncle. If he ends up dating some other girl up, this just got really depressing. I'm going to go distract myself now.


P.S. I don't regret a damn thing.

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